I feel like abortions should bother me more
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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