Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
