She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
