i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
