So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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