If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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