Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
