we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
