I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
