So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
