i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
They took my balls.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
