she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
