It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
