We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
