carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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