I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
