I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
