You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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