Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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