well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
