this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
