we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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