I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
