I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
