Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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