I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
