Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
