I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
