she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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