he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
