its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
