I'm sorry my penis didn't work
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
