YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
