Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Say something about gay babies.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
