ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
nutella sex= disaster
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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