All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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