Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
