How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
