I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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