laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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