I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
