That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
You can't motorboat a personality
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
did i just pee glitter
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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