Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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