do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
