So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
