walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
