on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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