I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
