hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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