rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
